Funniest Tweets of the Week – 17.11.18
We love you Twitter we do, we love you Twitter we do. Oh, Twitter we love you. Every week the site takes on new angles of funny, so it’s only right we capture the best of. Check out our selection of funniest tweets below.
One Aunty current causing havoc in Lidl because they won’t allow her to buy like 200 cans of plum tomato
— Scorpion King ? (@BoofDaddi) November 17, 2018
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Do you see this? No cell phones. Just people living in the moment. pic.twitter.com/gEsKdnKxqP
— a genderless vegan hotdog with no bun (@the_myleg_fish) November 14, 2018
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Him: babe just leave it now
my brain:
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say itMe: I just think it’s funny how…
— Madting (@pwincessmads) November 13, 2018
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When you post the Xabi Alonso leaving the game picture & 2 weeks later you have to post the one with him training again & someone asks you whypic.twitter.com/zx4PYFAuwa
— Kratos (@DeetsByDre) November 13, 2018
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me on facetime with my best friend pic.twitter.com/G6TUApj4WZ
— ??????? (@xforcades2) November 11, 2018
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Lads love taking away context when you’re annoyed at them, literally could go to Nando’s with their ex and then be all like ‘ur honestly annoyed at me for eating chicken wtf’
— beth (@bethanyclrke) November 11, 2018
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Good Morning! ??????pic.twitter.com/CKDFW0GTZR
— Okafor Uchenna ?? (@Uchekush_) November 13, 2018
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I gave my colleague ONE CHILLI PLANTAIN CRISP and she’s breathing like charizard
— K. Baba ?? (@Unkle_K) November 13, 2018
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Ladies think this is shooting their shot pic.twitter.com/nxDeL0lLV1
— Breyboi Carti (@TheBreyKeys) November 11, 2018
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ME, CALLING INTO BABESTATION: hey beautiful what are you wearing
BABE: just a thong baby
ME: just a thong?
BABE: yeah baby
ME: where’s your fucking poppy
— riles (@raaleh) November 11, 2018
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Fellas do yourself a favor and put that woman last. pic.twitter.com/yApgDrnVzs
— Peace Seeking Missile (@Menace2Anxiety_) November 11, 2018
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him and his boys rehearsing the lies they’re gonna tell you about their boys holiday pic.twitter.com/j9HiUn1BGz
— ???? (@jesuisjoy_xo) November 11, 2018
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boys who message me on instagram because they’ve seen me on tinder are not GDPR compliant
— senorita ugly (@bex_bambi) November 10, 2018
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Bro at the end let down the entire black community. https://t.co/xjbzu1VLEG
— Lip Gallagher (@tonestradamus) November 11, 2018
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During the talking stage & she asks “when are you going to take me seriously?” pic.twitter.com/6ONaMq7uit
— ??’???.C£ (@DaRealTTerror) November 10, 2018
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Women talkin bout men can’t find clits, hit g spots etc, ask them to ride for more than 2 minutes all u see is pic.twitter.com/of9ft66lFH
— Tre Dutty (@BigTeezo) November 10, 2018
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“I love your accent, say MJ’s name again” pic.twitter.com/9zMVAczDt3
— T H E L I L A C R O S E ™️ (@Simi_Sophia) November 9, 2018
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Me waiting until the last millisecond to pull out pic.twitter.com/k3JN7CToOp
— Small without shape/Flat bums stay far away (@MickzWrites) November 10, 2018
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“feat. 2 Chainz” pic.twitter.com/zoYmSxL43J
— Tony Starch (@_CakeBawse) November 9, 2018
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“I love your accent, say it again” pic.twitter.com/nmaPsPpI8P
— ??? (@osi_mambo) November 8, 2018
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My landlord is obsessed w rent that was due literally weeks ago ? Move on babe
— Steven P-H (@gossipbabies) November 9, 2018
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How can the lady in the carribean shop give me rice & peas when I told her I wanted white rice. I said “sorry I asked for white rice” sis really replied with “are u allergic to rice and peas” ????????? PLS
— princess (@fayonlinexo) November 9, 2018
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I can’t stop watching this. Dad of the year ???⚽️pic.twitter.com/iLvhDoiFyb
— Tom Munns (@TomMunns1) November 8, 2018
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“Omg I loooooove your accent, say it again ????”
Me: pic.twitter.com/gfPE5528dF
— swiss neutrality (@ashindestad) November 9, 2018
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My sister was arguing with her baby father/boyfriend who happens to be in jail at the moment on the phone today & she said
“I’m not about to argue with a nigga who has a bed time.”
I screamed so loud I woke the baby up.
— ㅤً (@bbygirlshae) November 8, 2018
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When your mum comes home and you’ve actually defrosted the meat pic.twitter.com/ueim1lGH0U
— ST (@TitoS100_) November 8, 2018
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So, I’m sitting next to this guy in a bus…dude has been dozing even before the bus started moving…we hit a bump, he opens his eyes, looks at me and asks for my number ? ?I say no and he goes right back to dozing!!!!!! ???
— Ibukun (@J__Crystal) November 7, 2018
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Nah @kreptplaydirty I’m fucking howling pic.twitter.com/GdB0C3jMI4
— Keith Dube (@MrExposed) November 8, 2018
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Black men ruined love
— R? (@roshtweets_) November 7, 2018
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YO THIS NIGGA GOT PIZZA HUT POSTERS IN HIS ROOM https://t.co/11SYkT3n4k
— EMAIL (@lilemailtrapper) November 7, 2018
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A University lecture loaded a wrong presentation on his laptop..???? pic.twitter.com/sNpC4fznTH
— QueenSamantha (@2ahtnamas2) November 5, 2018
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these females cut me off after one strike smh why ion get 742 strikes like da last nigga
— EaZy (@Jmpoint0) November 5, 2018
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Car sex is funny asf because it takes longer to find somewhere to park then it does to have sex lol
— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAlex (@ABlannar) November 5, 2018
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My son is turning 2 years today but due to budget we are not telling him
— #NTWANAYAMI ⚫ (@cbo_cbonelo) November 5, 2018
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At what point is the Prime Minister going to ban the sale of “non-iron” shirts that do in fact require ironing to be wearable? She promised to “tackle society’s burning injustices” and her silence is deafening.
— Jay Stoll (@jaystoll) November 5, 2018
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I will never forget when we planned a surprise party for my dad and one auntie tried to call him and ask for directions
— Chris Jericho (@ayy_deeee) November 3, 2018
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I will never forget when we planned a surprise party for my dad and one auntie tried to call him and ask for directions
— Chris Jericho (@ayy_deeee) November 3, 2018
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When 21 Savage was recording “don’t come out the house” pic.twitter.com/IBTM4P656A
— Lenarr Young (@Lenarr_) November 4, 2018